IT TAKES 2 — COUPLES COUNSELLING

If you've read a little about what It Takes 2 covers, you'll already know I work with couples navigating conflict, rebuilding trust, adjusting to change, or wanting to grow an already good relationship. What this page is really for is answering the next question: what does that actually look like once you're in the room together.

How the work begins

Couples counselling with me usually starts with an assessment phase, one or two sessions where I get a clear picture of your relationship's particular strengths, patterns, and the specific things bringing you in right now. This isn't a test either of you can fail, it's simply how I make sure the work that follows is actually built around your relationship, rather than a generic template applied to every couple.

From there, sessions become more focused, working directly on the patterns, conflicts, or goals identified in the assessment, using Gottman-informed tools alongside relational and systemic approaches suited to what you're each bringing to the work.

What I pay attention to

• How you each communicate, and where those styles clash or misfire
• The patterns underneath repeated arguments, not just the topics themselves
• How trust, once broken, gets rebuilt in a way that's actually felt, not just agreed to
• The individual histories, attachment patterns, or family-of-origin dynamics each partner brings into the relationship
• What's already working well, since good relationships still benefit from deliberate strengthening, not just repair

A note on individual work alongside couples work

Sometimes what surfaces in couples sessions points to something one partner would benefit from working through individually too, an old wound, a pattern from a previous relationship, or something unrelated to the relationship itself that's still affecting it. I also offer individual counselling, and can discuss with you whether a combination of individual and couples sessions might serve you better than couples work alone.

Confidentiality between partners

Couples counselling has its own approach to confidentiality, different from individual work. I'll walk you through exactly how this works, including how any individual conversations within the couples process are handled, during your first session, so there are no surprises about what's shared and what stays private.

Session format

Couples sessions are conducted via telehealth, both partners present, so you can join from wherever suits you both. Sessions typically run longer than individual sessions to allow enough space for both perspectives to be heard properly.